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Journal of Reverend John Macky

Commencing 10 April 1854

Transcribed by Donna Messenger née Macky [B.3.a.1.B]

10 April 1854

This day we bade farewell to numerous weeping friends and acquaintances, and in the William McCormick steamer from Londonderry to Liverpool commenced our journey to New Zealand. The weather was very fine and auspicious but our hearts were sad...we were leaving our country and our home probably never to return. Those dear ones we were embracing alas it may be for the last time were shedding bitter tears our own were flowing amain and the feelings of our breaking hearts could find no utterance but in short fervent ejaculations mingled with sobbings.

To the mercy of God we mutually commended each other, and with the hope that our meeting again if not in this world would be in heaven and be boundlessly joyful and tearless. We gazed upon each other with the last intent fond look and waved a last Adieu.

11 April, Tuesday

We reached Liverpool at half past seven o'clock in the morning after a very pleasant passage of seventeen hours in which I suffered less from seasickness than ever I did on a steamer on any previous occasion. Still I was not entirely free from that malady for which though dire there is so little sympathy. I believe no one of our party suffered so much as myself the children gave promise of being very good sailors on the long voyage which they were shortly to enter and my dear wife though mentally dispirited and her heart overwhelmed and in perplexity yet mercifully preserved from bodily sickness and discomfort.

Our party bound for New Zealand consisted of my father, mother, and sister Dorcas, Mrs. Alexander, my sister-in-law, and her four children, Mr. Joseph Cochrane, my brother-in-law and my wife, our five children and myself with two female and one male servant for the party and two young men, members of my former congregation in the fore-cabin. We left Liverpool for London about three hours after our landing and managed with the assistance of cold water and conversation with a few other simple appliances to pass the time in the railway carriage pleasantly enough. Our little Lizzie was naturally enough dissatisfied with the long confinement in so small and crowded an apartment and contrived to make us aware of her feelings by sundry ebullitions of the genus crying. However we all were in good health and tolerable spirits when we reached London and after an hours delay at the Terminus during which time J. Cochrane was busily engaged procuring lodgings, we were whirled off in cabs to Frederick Street Pentonville where most of us remained during our stay in London.

12 April, Wednesday

This day we went first after breakfast to the office of the Agents and owners of the Cashmere Messrs H. H. Willis & Coy and were rather startled when they informed us that they were expecting she would leave the dock next day however our minds were set at rest on that point ere going to see the Ship as we found she could not possibly be ready to leave before Saturday. We gave orders about the fitting up of our cabin and spent the remainder of the day in making sundry purchases necessary for the voyage. I was able to go through great London with very little concern for its sights and wonders inasmuch as business was pressing which must be attended to and there was little time to do it. The cabs of London though of bad notoriety are a necessary evil and restricted as the cabmen now are in their fares by a carefully regulated and equitable scale of charges there can be little imposition practiced by that fraternity if a moderate degree of caution be exercised by those who employ them. It struck me as a matter worthy of notice and as giving a good idea of the difficulty of becoming acquainted with all the localities in the World of London that scarcely one of the Cabmen could drive without enquiring the way to our lodgings in Pentonville.

13 April, Thursday

Spent much the same as yesterday. The children altogether confined to the house as the others were all engaged elsewhere. Letters from Ireland today from those who love us, but whose faces we will see no more. My dear wife still much depressed and my own health and peace of mind beginning to suffer. May God strengthen and support us for all the trials we may have to encounter and Oh; that we may be fitted for our various duties so that we shall esteem it our meat and drink to be doing the will of our father in heaven. May God comfort the sorrowing friends we have left behind us.

14 April, Friday

Good Friday all business suspended in London. A fraction of the people engaged in Gods worship the millions seeking their own pleasures. On this day however I do not blame them if their consciences be not grieved the day is of human institution and therefore wholely different from the Sabbath to the careful observance of which as a day especially devoted to Gods worship and service we are morally obliged. This day took the children to see St. Pauls, that magnificent temple of worship of the true God ostensibly but an object of admiration for the grandeur of its structure and the vastness of its dimensions The Monument, the Horse Guards... Westminster Abbey... Houses of Parliament... The Tower.

Afterwards went to the ship likely to be our home for months to come and completed to a certain extent preparations necessary for going on board next day. Thoroughly tired of London.

15 April, Saturday

In the morning bought some additional cabin requisites, got the remainder of our luggage aboard and being determined to leave with the ship went on board ourselves. The Cashmere left the St. Katherine Dock about one o'clock p.m. and was towed by a steamer to Graves End where we are riding at anchor. We have a great deal of confusion on board but are cheered by the information that this will give place to order in the course of two or three days. This is to be our first night aboard ship. God grant us his favour and protect us while we remain in her.

16 April, Sunday

Few of the passengers in the ship. I went ashore to Graves End. Its Easter I was surprised and shocked to see so many shops open in every street the Sabbath is very much desecrated here—Steamboats and Railway Trains constantly running, crowds of people on the wharves and in the pleasure gardens in the river steamers all sorts of amusement, fiddlers, harpers etc. Went to a Methodist Chapel and heard an evangelical sermon there is an organ in the chapel the music very good this was the first place I ever saw the people sit down during prayer the pews were too narrow for kneeling in and I suppose they preferred any posture to standing. Why it is not in me to say. In the evening heard two street preachers one evangelical and the other a sermon. A more villainous looking fellow than the latter I never saw.

17 April, Monday

In London bought some things still necessary for the voyage and returned in the evening to the ship. A large number of the passengers now on board the vessel being expected to sail tomorrow.

18 April, Tuesday

A further delay in putting to sea. The Government Inspector has required a new fire engine to be put aboard and some other alterations to be made. Satisfied by this circumstance that this inspection is not a mere matter of form and that we have reason to believe that everything for our safety and comfort has been provided. This evening J. Cochrane and Anne Alexander came aboard. We can't as yet speak very comfortably of our feelings and Rebecca is still very dispirited.

19 April, Wednesday

The ship has not yet sailed. The difficulty of getting cleared out the only explanation. Engaged today in putting some more things to right in the cabin and was to Graves End in the afternoon with Anne and Rebecca. There are very fine and extensive baths in this town A great luxury and certainly not less a necessity for health than for enjoyment. Still in great confusion not auguring well for comfort. Feel very much cast down myself on account of Rebecca's despondency. May God give her peace of mind and restore unto her the joy of his salvation.

20 April, Thursday

This morning was waked up at 4 o'clock by Willis's people who were on board to have accounts of freight etc. settled previous to the ships sailing. I managed satisfactorily my freight account and have reason to speak favourably of the liberality of the Agents who remitted a considerable amount which I suppose they might have insisted on. The steamer to tow us to a point where the wind was favourable was now alongside the anchor was weighed about half past four we left Graves End and in about six hours we were able to set sail and dispense with the further assistance of steam. The wind was very favourable though light and we made about seven knots. May God mercifully speed us on our way and preserve us from all dangers.

21 April, Friday

Wind still with us. The day delightfully fine. Getting down the Channel as rapidly and as pleasantly as the most sanguine could have anticipated. This day a British steam Cruiser passed us with a Russian Barque in tow which she had captured. We had no means of ascertaining any particulars. This circumstance however plainly reminded us that the peace of Europe is broken and God only knows when it shall be restored. Not many complaints of seasickness, can't complain of our ships accommodation.

22 April, Saturday

Getting on to the hearts content of our Captain who is a very worthy man and most anxious to promote the comfort of all his passengers a fresh breeze very sick and confined to my berth all day.

23 April, Sunday

No religious service aboard seasickness very general among the passengers the wind favourable and good. I am selfish enough to wish it were not so good my sufferings are considerable.

24, 25, 26 April, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday

Confined almost constantly to my berth unmitigated seasickness accompanied by sadness and sorrow. Poor Rebecca still very poorly cannot comfort her may God help her. Wind uninterruptedly good and fair sailing along the Bay of Biscay and coast of Portugal sighted no land.

27 April, Thursday

Wind not so strong. Sickness proportionately less able to go on deck felt very cold owing partly to the very weak state to which I have been reduced. Very great confusion has hitherto prevailed children very disorderly persuaded that going to sea is a very miserable thing at least in the commencement of a voyage.

28 April, Friday

Was able to be on deck before breakfast felt very much stronger the day very pleasant atmospheric warmth considerably increased. This day sighted Madera and sailed pretty near to the end of the island the coast is very rock bound and there is scarcely any cultivated land in view a large white building was visible in considerable elevation in an apparently barren district some thought it a chapel, some a Convent. The wind light speed not more than 4 knots.

29 April, Saturday

Health of all passengers considerably improved beginning to be better acquainted with each other all very agreeable, at least manifesting a disposition to be so. A good many appear anxious to have religious ordinances regularly observed. The Episcopalians most so. My dear Rebecca and a Scotsman in the Steerage the only Presbyterians who appear interested in the subject. Feel disheartened on this account God give me strength to preserver amidst discouragements. Wind still light.

30 April, Sunday

A beautiful morning wind—very light and rather more easterly—sighted Palmas Ferros and Teneriffe of the Canary Islands at different times throughout this day. Preached under an awning on the Quarter Deck at half past ten. The attendance good and the whole service comfortable enough. I had often been grieved at home at the careless lifeless manner in which the psalms were sung and hoped that in our services on board this would not be the case, expecting confidently the assistance of my brother-in-law. However in this I was disappointed and the singing was so wretched that I was heartily longing even for the music of Fahan. In the evening at the request of the majority of the cabins passengers who appear to be of the High Church Party of Episcopalians. Dr. Sealy read the evening service of the Church of England. The singing of the hymns was good my brother-in-law leading I preached by request. I believe I am in the way of my duty in present circumstances in yielding so far to the prejudices of this people in order to promote the spirit of Christian Union and that they may receive the Word from my lips.

1 May 1854, Monday

The day very fine. We are within two or three degrees of the Tropics. The heat is considerable but the Cuddy is remarkably well ventilated the awning is over us on deck and we now know the advantage of having a stern cabin as with one of the windows open during the night we can sleep in comfort covered with a single blanket and sheet. We are not making much way. A whale has been seen and numbers of porpoises. The Nautilus or Portugese Man-of-war occasionally glides past us not sinking beneath the waves and anon raising his fibrous tiny sail with which he steers his course fearlessly over the waters. My reading has hitherto been very trifling since we sailed and moreover very cursory. I am reading James Earnest Ministry. All are now well on board but my dear Rebecca and the nature of her malady (whether mental or bodily) I cannot discern. Oh, how earnestly and with what tears and groanings I have prayed and do pray for her restoration to health and strength.

2 May, Tuesday

Not yet entered the Tropics but will during the night. Wind very trifling but still making a little way. Saw a steamer this day in the distance, homeward bound. Our Captain thinks she is one of the Oriental Steamboat Company's vessels. This day reading The Memoir of Leigh The Missionary to New South Wales and New Zealand. Oh, that I could possess the fervent zeal which actuated him through all his course. We have all reason to feel comfortable as far as our treatment on board is concerned and our intercourse with each other. We have now regularly reading and prayer in the Cuddy immediately after breakfast conducted by me and I have prayer with my own family in the cabin in the evening. God hear our Prayers!

3 May, Wednesday

We are now within The Tropics but the atmosphere is less tropical than the last few days as the wind is much fresher. Our speed last night and this day has increased considerably and we are now (9 p.m.) going 7½ knots. My thoughts have been very much today on past scenes and places and persons whom we have left behind us. A coterie of passengers meet every evening to sing on the quarter deck not sacred songs however thus far this singing of such songs usually termed profane is innocent and pleasurable is a question which I feel considerable difficulty in answering to the satisfaction of my own conscience this evening while listening for an hour I could not perceive that any but right feeling had a place in my mind. There are emotions not strictly speaking religious but which are never the less conducive to the progress of religion in the soul, or at least perfectly consistent with the holiest exercise of religious principles which are oft times excited by many songs generally considered profane. Notwithstanding that this is my feeling I fear that song singing is generally abused and it must be a self evident abuse when it interferes with the performance of any command of duty. The reflection I think ought to settle the question as far as singing in this ship is concerned we have no Psalm Singing, no joining together daily to celebrate Gods Praise in the manner of his own appointment. Therefore our singing is abused and is wrong. But were there no song singing would it be better if the same time were spent in idle conversation or listless watching, would there be any improvement? I think not. Perhaps I shall soon see a fitting opportunity for introducing something better I know from my position it would be foolish of me to attempt to dogmatize or hastily innovate. How hard it is to display on all occasions sufficient firmness and invariably to exhibit the ministerial character. May I be helped to do so. This day I endeavoured to keep the children pretty close to their books, but still further improvement in this regard is demanded.

4 May, Thursday

Wind fair, increasing towards evening. Making 7 knots. Saw two sails today. One crossed our stern, coast-ward, probably bound for some part of Africa the other ahead of us on the same course as ourselves. How pleasant it is to have the sense of utter loneliness relieved by even the sight of a sail at a distance and how vast must be the ocean on whose bosom so many ships are constantly traversing and yet so seldom falling in with one another. We have not yet felt any inconvenience from the heat of The Tropics but I believe we could safely do without any covering in our berths even with an open window. The moon is now on the increase and the nights are beautiful. On either side the quarter-deck are trusses of hay for the sheep and when the heavy dews are falling it sends forth such a delightful perfume, that sitting in the balmy evening I could almost fancy myself in some sweet meadow far away from this restless ocean. But this day dream soon passes and I am alive to the reality of our situation. We have many things to be thankful for but some regrets intrude.

5 May, Friday

Last night and this morning the wind blew pretty fresh and we are getting along at nearly 9 knots. There are some renewed indications of seasickness with some of the passengers sister Dorcas and myself included. However I feel convinced that an increase in motion does not affect me nearly as much as formerly and that in time I might become a good sailor. No sails in sight today. We are passing between Cape Verdi Islands and the coast. Land is not visible. The nearest of the islands is 150 miles distant and the coast still more. I had this day prayer in the steerage in which about 12 passengers united. Every morning after prayer in the Cuddy I intend, God willing, to visit the Steerage for the same purpose. This evening very warm on deck even when everything was quite wet with the heavy dew. The moon is much more directly overhead in these latitudes (as the sun is) than we ever before saw her. Great numbers of porpoises gamboling round the ship today. As yet no fish of any kind have been taken.

6 May, Saturday

This day wind not so good but still very favourable. We have not had one hours contrary wind since we left Graves End. Let God be praised for his great goodness. Saw a whale this morning about two miles on the starboard I believe it is by the man on the masthead who is constantly on the lookout that a whale is first recognized as such. Whaling is a game made up of minding, expectation and excitement and I should think the two former generally constitute nine tenths of it. In this however I may be mistaken one only seeing two whales on our course cannot be regarded as a criterion I believe they are pretty numerous within the Tropics at this season. Attendance at prayer in the steerage rather better today. Not more than a few minutes on deck till after tea, engaged in the cabin preparing for preaching tomorrow. May God give me the preparation of the heart, and oh that some may derive comfort and edification, and others awakening from the word of my lips. May my dear wife be comforted.

7 May, Sunday

All the more favourable for preaching on the Quarter Deck. Preached from Hebrews 6.19 Which hope we have is an anchor of the soul etc. attendance pretty good preached from the same text in the evening. The service of The Church of England read as formerly by Dr. Sealy. The Psalms and Amens chanted the latter especially made me feel very uncomfortable as if I was where I should not be However in matters indifferent the Golden Rule of Moderation must be observed and he that chanteth not must not despise him that chanteth. My fellow worshippers on this occasion hold Christ the Head and are at one with me in all the great essential doctrines of Christianity, and I trust that in those things in which we differ I shall be able to keep the unity of the spirit in the bond of peace.

Wind improved towards evening. Sabbath dinners quite sumptuous in their way this day our Captain treated us all to Champagne drank of it and felt better for it.

8 May, Monday

Getting to the end of the Trade Wind after which we will be some days in what are called the Variables until we get into another trade. Saw a sail this morning astern of us steering more Easterly than us either bound for some part of Africa or else taking a different course which is sometimes the case as seamen differ in their opinion as to choice of direction in order to catch the Trade. A porpoise taken this morning harpooned by Sedgewick the first mate who seems to pride himself a good deal on his activity but if in command I fear it would be a pity for the sailors serving under him. Walker the second mate is a nice mild agreeable fellow and I do hope he may have a prosperous career. The porpoise is very much relished by the sailors who are glad to have anything fresh. I believe part of it when well cooked might easily be taken for pork. They are seen in great numbers a good many Black Fish seen today which yield an oil equal to that of the whale.

9 May, Tuesday

Thermometer at 81 degrees all feeling the heat very oppressive except the seamen wind light but favourable as it has invariably been since we left. Met a ship today homeward bound. Great excitement on board preparing letters for home and great disappointment when it was ascertained that she was not a British Ship and that no letters would be sent by her. She was a French Barque but had no flags for signaling so that no information was given or received on either side, except the display of the National Flag. Making pretty good way notwithstanding the lightness of the winds I believe much better than usual in these latitudes being now in the Variables. We are now about the eighth degree north latitude. Attendance at prayers in the Steerage improving. This day Chris's hat was lost out of the cabin window and our valuable servant nearly went after it The Captain has promised to have the cabin windows nailed to prevent accidents.

10 May, Wednesday

A heavy shower of rain this morning about 6 o'clock. It had been preceded by a short squall of wind. They collected off the Quarter Deck nearly a barrel of water. The wind fell away afterwards nearly to a calm but after two or three hours perceptibly increased so that we made nearly 4 knots. Passed a vessel about 6 miles distant going in the same course signaled her but they either could not make out the signal or were too uncivil to reply further than by displaying something like a black ball. They recognized her from this and the colour (yellow) of her painting to be one of the Blackball line of Packets generally sailing to the Mauritius. This day was sultry and the evening warmer than usual. Feel it very difficult to read much on account of the heat the days are passing without much interest and I regret to add unprofitably besides. I trust if this warm weather were past I will be able to do more myself and make the children do more. We are in about 6 degrees 30 minutes North Latitude.

11 May, Thursday

The wind was tolerably good during the last night very light this morning. Heat still very great all complaining of its exhausting influence a baby born on board this morning the mother, wife of a man called Shaw in the Steerage one of Mr. Hammerlin's servants. The husband is a civil quiet man and appears very thankful for his wife's safe delivery. Sam's hat went overboard this morning I believe he could not help it as a sudden gust of wind lifted it off his head. This trifling accident led to some remarks I deemed rather severe on Sam's demerit by Jos. Cochrane and I permitted myself to lose my temper a man in whose heart the feelings of the father never kindled is unfit to speak to a father about his children and he is influenced either by ignorance or ill nature who speaks of a child to his father as a blackguard and a scoundrel. I am aware of Sam's stirring nature and the natural forwardness of his disposition and his proneness to be opinionated but he is very affectionate and warm hearted and possessed of very quick natural talent and considering that he is not yet ten years of age, I trust by the grace of God I need not despair as others seem to do that he may yet possess and manifest more wisdom and steadiness. I have learned however the necessity of exercising greater control over my temper.

12 May, Friday

Wind light... very sultry... Three vessels all outward bound in sight... some of them sufficiently near to speak with.

13 May, Saturday

Making pretty fair progress... heat very uncomfortable. Engaged till the evening making preparation for preaching tomorrow. Carried back in thought very much to the quiet room in which I used to study at home and made to feel how much I would value its comfort did I now possess it. God enable me to trust to his mercy that all things are ordered for the best and that the Lord will graciously provide all things needful to us.

14 May, Sunday

About the warmest day we have had yet. Preached in morning and evening from Hebrew 11.33. My spirit was greatly overwhelmed on account of my dear Rebecca and I prayed with great earnestness that she might be enabled to receive the promises through faith and be comforted by them. A few minutes after evening service a Swedish Barque ("The Adelaide") from India laden with rice bound for Cowes for orders passed so close to us as to give us this information of her by signals and to learn our destination through the speaking trumpet. It was very interesting to witness the whole procedure and to hear the kind interchange of civilities between the Captains. It spoke to my heart what brotherly kindness universally exercised throughout the world would accomplish. Oh, for the time when all men shall be brothers.

15 May, Monday

Wind fair but light... crossed the Equator about 11 o'clock tonight at about 23 degrees West Longitude. The event celebrated in no way except some drinking among the sailors which is certainly a great improvement on the barbarous practices of former times which I believe are nearly universally exploded (exploited?). Our voyage has thus far been satisfactory and yet at no time of my life do I remember passing a time of greater mental suffering... my dear Rebecca's illness continues.

16 May, Tuesday

Making good way for these latitudes... nothing occurred worth recording... still warm... sleep without any covering... windows and doors open.

17, 18, 19 May, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday

Miserable, miserable days. Rebecca very poorly. God relieve her and pity us both. I can remember nothing of these days but their misery. May we be strengthened for trials.

20 May, Saturday

On 20th. of last month we sailed from Graves End and we are now in the 13th. degree of South Latitude. We have great reason to be thankful that our way has been prospered and that we have had so few bodily discomforts. Preparing today for tomorrow's services... never did so at any former time with so sorrowful a mind... may I see God's hand and be submissive.

21 May, Sunday

A very good breeze yesterday and today ½ wind S.S.E. Preached morning and evening from Luke 13.33. My dear Rebecca heard me both times... I trust she is somewhat better... the Doctor has given her a draught every evening for some days. After preaching this morning I baptised Shaw's child which he named after the Ship... "George Cashmere". I believe the Episcopalians were rather pleased with the simple impressiveness of the service... one of them would have liked the Lord's Prayer to have been used... I didn't know how far I should conform to this very general prejudice among them in wishing this prayer to be used more frequently in our devotional exercises. I have no objection to it myself except the fact of using it to please men... but after all this may be scripturally right ½ "All things to all men."

22 May, Monday

Wind good and fair S.E. by E. half a point. Some expectation of seeing Trinidad tomorrow. It is an island belonging to Portugal almost utterly barren and now uninhabited. Some convicts used to be sent there but it proved too expensive a prison as they were not able to raise sufficient food in the Island for their support.

23 May, Tuesday

Wind still good S.E. making very good way. Passed Trinidad late in the evening... not visible... probably would have been had it been daylight. The motion of the ship has been considerable the last two or three days but notwithstanding I have scarcely felt even uncomfortable so that I am not likely to be such a martyr to seasickness in the Southern Seas as I feared I would be. Rebecca seems rather better today and I would fondly hope by God's blessing she may gradually be relieved from the mental depression.

24 May, Wednesday

Wind light towards evening... making little way... the temperature sensibly falling... nights rather cooler... not wearing any covering in our berth yet... the boys lie quite in a state of nudity.

25 May, Thursday

Morning delightfully cool... wind fell away towards evening... getting out of the Tropics tonight. Thank God no cause for complaint.

26 May, Friday

Wind still very light. A pretty heavy shower of rain before sunrise... sun warmer today. This day spoke with two vessels... with one by signals... the other with the speaking trumpet. The first was the "Sea Kelpie" from London to Mauritius out 45 days... she promised to report us as having 104 passengers all well out 35 days. This vessel was very slow in signalling... and our officers were nearly out of temper with them. We had been waiting for them all morning. In about two hours after we met and spoke the "Fides" of New York from Calleo to London with Guano... a large and good looking ship. She had been out 75 days. Also promised to report us. These short meetings tend very much to vary the monotony of a dull lazy day at sea, but we regret that they are so very short... a mere 'How do you do' and 'Good bye.' Feel very languid this evening and fear that dear Rebecca's spirits have been rather unfavourably affected by some cause. I do pray God she may soon be herself again. What a dull voyage this has been to me. Except ourselves none dull... all are contriving ways of enjoyment and in some of them I have participated. Reading, Dress, Conversation etc. I am sorry that cards have been introduced in the evenings. I do not see my way in interfering in any way to prevent it. I must not appear a meddler... they play only for amusement... no gambling... could not be persuaded they are doing wrong. I think myself 'the appearance of evil' and association are here the strongest argument against cards. I bear a silent testimony against them in never being in the Cuddy while they are on the table. Rebecca still taking a composing draught each night.

27 May, Saturday

Wind light and contrary. Preparing for tomorrow. Thoughts reverting to... whether or not to pass scenes and oppressing me, with regret. Memory involuntarily starting before my mind in quick succession places of meeting... kind humble faces of men and women who loved me and gladly waited on my ministrations... my days of visiting... my light heart when the day was past and I returned to my home. All this is too much for me. But Oh. My God art thou the strength of my heart? and will not I put my trust in thee? Even if it be not thy will that I shall ever again have as kind a people and such a pleasant home... Oh do Thou cause the light of Thy countenance to arise upon me and this will put gladness in my heart more than all earthly comforts. My God give me a strong persevering enduring faith and fit me for my trials, and my duties. If it be Thy Holy Will fit my dear partner to bear with me the burden and heat of the day and may she be strengthened in body, mind and spirit to endure whatever of inconvenience vexation and hardship may be mingled in our lot. And do Thou mercifully Heavenly Father be the guide of our dear children's youth and their portion forever.

28 May, Sunday

Wind very light and still contrary. Preached morning and evening from 2nd. Kings... "Is the heart right". The 'Sea Kelpie' had again come up with us... and some signalling passed between us. There was considerable differences between the longitude according to their reckoning and ours. Theirs was 35 degrees west and ours 32 degrees 30 minutes west. Our Captain has two chronometers and at the islands we sighted he had very little alterations to make so that they were going well. There must be some great inaccuracy on the part of one or the other.

29 May, Monday

Wind scarcely any better. Towards evening became more favourable but still very light... making about 4 knots S.E.E. While there was an undesirable calm without, this morning there was rather a sudden and violent storm within the Cuddy. A lady and gentleman being the Dramatis Personae. I would greatly have preferred an hour's violent rocking in a snorting breeze. What a sad exhibition of our Irish propensity for quarrelling and Billingsgate before our English acquaintances. This little fracas made me very miserable and was a great loss indeed to my dear Rebecca whose nerves were much shook and her depression greatly increased.

30 May, Tuesday

Scarcely any wind. A dull stupid day. Commenced to rain before breakfast and continued drizzling and thick till this evening. Then however the atmosphere became clearer and there was promise of an increasing wind. A ship in full sail was seen after us but was steering much to the Eastward. We have been doing very little for some days past so that our voyage is likely to be longer than was at first expected. A dolphin was taken by the Boatswain today.

31 May, Wednesday

The wind was good and favourable during the past night and continued so today. Going 9 knots. For some days a good many birds have been flying about... those most numerous are called parsons... a black bird with stripes on either side it's throat... thought to resemble a clergyman's bands... hence the name. This day one or two Cape Pigeons were seen... a very pretty bird of mixed colours which flies without any apparent motion of the wings which are extended to their full length but making an angle with the back. The latitude today is 25 deg. 30m.

1 June 1854, Thursday

Wind not so good. Sailing East and one point by North expecting to pass the Island of Tristan de Acuna to the North of it. Our progress has not been so good as formerly for a week and more. We have great reason to be thankful that the health of all passengers is very good and that no accident of any kind has occurred since we sailed. General harmony prevails but there is a trifling undercurrent of scandal which I do hope will not increase so as to mar our comfort.

2 June, Friday

Still sailing East by North. A pretty strong wind blowing. Going nearly due east part of the day. Sighted a large vessel astern of us in full sail. We reduced sail that she might come up with us before evening. The Captain being anxious to be confirmed as to the correctness or otherwise of his longitude, the "Water Kelpie" and "Fides" having differed considerably. The vessel which was a very large one proved to be the "Terra Nova" from Greenwich to Melbourne with passengers... out 46 days. Her Longitude and ours were exactly the same which was very satisfactory to the Captain.

3 June, Saturday

Wind strong and still contrary. Tacking so as to make about 25 miles Eastward out of 200 miles sailing. Unable to sit at our Cabin table to write today on account of the great layover of the vessel to one side. Studied the text Isiah 30.10. with the assistance of Chalmer's Sermon for the Scottish Pulpit. Thank God my dear Rebecca is a good deal better and I am now fondly hoping she will gradually but surely recover from the depression under which she has been suffering.

4 June, Sunday

Wind strong and favourable sailing S.E. Too boisterous to have preaching either on the Poop or Main Deck. Preached in the Cuddy... attendance not so good as on former occasions. I regret to observe the great carelessness of all the ship's officers and can't but think it is mainly owing to this that none of the seamen attend the Sabbath Services. Our passengers are all formalists... and there do not appear to be any who have a scriptural view of the sacredness of the Sabbath except the Presbyterians. The views of our Cuddy Episcopalians on this subject are very hazy and the English Steerage and second Cabin passengers are all either Unitarian or ?.

5 June, Monday

Wind still good and blowing in the same direction as yesterday. Seasickness returned to me this morning with mitigated horrors. I was considerably better after breakfast. Not easy to maintain the Center of Gravity these days as the ship heaves tremendously. My dear mother got two falls in her cabin yesterday but fortunately she was not much hurt. I am reading Macaulay's "History of England"... a masterly performance.

6 June, Tuesday

The pitching of the ship very great during last night and our berths very uncomfortable but our progress was very good... going for some time at 11 knots. Wind continued good during the day. I regret that I have not marked the Longitude and Latitude of each day as my journal proceeded but I expect to be able to append this to it when completed if God will that we shall reach the end of this voyage in safety. From the direction we have been sailing the last three days there is still some likelihood of our seeing "Tristan de Acuna". We have seen albatrosses during the last few days flying near to the ship. They are said to measure sometimes from 15 ft. to 20 ft. between the tips of their wings... the largest we have yet seen might measure about 6 ft. They are occasionally taken with a hook and line. There is now a very great change in the temperature. The children wear their coats on deck and we can bear a blanket over us at night. I believe we need not expect to have much less motion than we have at present to the end of the voyage. The stern cabins on this account are very ineligible.

7 June, Wednesday

The wind strong and fair. Made 240 miles yesterday. Latitude 37 degrees South... very cold. This is the anniversary of my ordination in Fahan 12 years ago. Oh God how little have I done throughout those years to promote Thy Glory and the Welfare of immortal souls in comparison of what I might have done... how unworthy and guilty in thy sight... how little penitent for sin... and how little thankful for many many mercies. Oh God vouchsafe to me Thy Grace that I may henceforth walk worthy of the lord to all well pleasing and that I may constantly glorify thee with my body and spirit which are thine.

8 June, Thursday

Weather similar to yesterday. The reckoning shows a progress of 243 miles during the last 24 hours. Tomorrow the Captain expects our longitude will be East. Children can't be on deck so much on account of the cold... and until they retire to their berths in the evening the Cuddy is all noise and confusion. I regret to say the Card playing continues and that no good is being done on board in the way of mental, moral or religious improvement by the majority of the passengers.

9 June, Friday

A gloomy miserable day, cold wet and gusty and on this day the cold relentless hand of death was among us. A sailor lad William James fell and was drowned. There was a heavy sea running at the time and although the life buoy was thrown to him and the lifeboat lowered with 7 adventurous fellows headed by Walker 3rd. mate the effort was unsuccessful. Poor James had sunk to rise no more till the last trumpet shall sound. His father, a seaman, had been drowned about 5 months previous and his four brothers are sailors. He, it is said, left his widowed mother in opposition to her wish and was alas like the majority of sailors a careless thoughtless lad. This accident overwhelmed many of the sailors and passengers with violent emotions of grief... myself among the rest. The two or three minutes of suspense before ascertaining who was overboard and after hearing that someone was struggling in the waves were the most agonizing I ever experienced. I was sitting in the stern cabin and the children were on deck and I knew them to be so stirring and venturous (especially Sam). Most earnestly did I pray for the poor boys soul and I think many prayers were offered for him at that moment and most sincerely did I feel what I knew would be the poor mother's grief when the said intelligence will reach her and I wept burning tears at the sad fate of the unfortunate sailor boy. It is likely that a subscription will be raised among the passengers for the bereaved parent.

10 June, Saturday

Had a relentless sleepless night. Weather improved this morning. Wind still favourable. Engaged in preparation for tomorrow's services... hoping to be able to improve the sailors death so as to lead us to reflect of the shortness and uncertainty of human life.

11 June, Sunday

Very fine winter's day. Great flight of birds about the ship. Pigeons, Malamauks, (?) Undertakers, Petrels, etc. Several of the passengers showed their disregard of Sabbath observance by spending the day catching or making vain attempts to catch some of the large birds. The attendance at the divine worship was better than on last Sabbath... preached from 2nd. James 20.3. "There is but a step between me and Death".

12 June, Monday

Wind still light but favourable. Slight showers but a fine grey day. Not making more than 6 knots. The moonlight is not very clear... the moon looking larger than she ever appeared at home... the atmosphere very transparent.

13 June, Tuesday

Still sailing South East by East... wind not strong making 7 and 8 knots. Not able to see the sun today... by dead reckoning expect to be in 18 degrees E.L. which is the longitude of the Cape. This weather considered very unusual in this latitude. We have been all along led to expect coarse weather at The Cape and it is by far the most agreeable we have had. The most experienced may err in their calculations. Warm though pleasant enough we would be getting on better if we had a breeze sufficient to make the motion unpleasant. This evening I was rendered very unhappy by hearing unpleasant reports of McL. no one can be trusted. I have never doubted that person.

14 June, Wednesday

The wind more easterly and consequently not so favourable. The weather is still very pleasant. The time is hanging heavily enough on my hands and there are many things which often make me wish this voyage was over, or that I had never left home. God knows how far my fear may be realized or removed... as for pleasant or hopeful anticipations I have none. I will not certainly be able to look back on my traversing the Ocean as a time of pleasure. I would rather it were blotted altogether from the page of memory. I believe God has desired it as a time of special trial. I have found none to associate with among the passengers... my relatives, affinity to whose society I have looked forward with pleasure are so estranged from me that we seldom do more than speak and my wife in whose society I could have found ample compensation for all this had she been as she was wont to be, but she is so hopeless and despondent that she has not a word for my ear but what is calculated to increase my misery. May God be merciful and enlighten my darkness.

15 June, Thursday

Very delightful day... much like a fine April day at home... a good deal on deck today. Any pleasure I might have enjoyed however was marred by a most unpleasant investigation I was called on to make of a malicious story raised on our servant by one of the steerage passengers. She was evidently maligned but nothing could be made of the unmannerly ruffians who wantonly injured her though the Captain tried as well as myself. I pity her very much... but am of the opinion we would have been better wanting a servant altogether as so little dependence can be placed on them and the additional exertion which the want of one would have rendered necessary on the part of Rebecca would have been good for her now and would have been an excellent preparation for the hardships of Colonial life. Sister Dorcas has commenced reading Macaulay's History of England. I am getting on with the 2nd. volume but though much interested can somehow or other get on but very slowly. Day now very short. 8 o'clock this night wind improving... going 10 knots.

16 June, Friday

Wind rose pretty high and we had a good deal of rocking. Sails shortened at 4 o'clock A.M. continued to blow half a gale till towards the afternoon when the rain came on. Rained very heavily in the evening. The night pitch dark. Averaging 8 knots. Some of us very seasick this morning. I had a narrow escape from being severely hurt by my foot slipping off the ladder of the poop deck. May we be thankful to the God of Providence who is continually preserving us. It was on this day week the poor sailor boy was drowned. How helpless we are without the help of God... may we wait continually on him.

17 June, Saturday

A very dark damp cold miserable day. I could scarcely see at table today and even in our cabin to read and write was very straining on the eyes. I was employed in preparation for tomorrow's services as I would have been at Carnshanagh, but many acquaintances and friends are this day in Derry and some of them will likely be thinking of us and talking of my successor who is perhaps chosen by this time. God enable me to think with equanimity on this subject.

18 June, Sunday

Wind contrary today. Fortunately not much of it. A clear and dry day. Reading in the morning from "Let no man deceive himself" and in the evening expounded from Romans 3. 21. to end. The attendance was pretty good... for the first time some of the second cabin passengers here present who are said to be Unitarians. I believe I do not preach to please my hearers but with a desire to profit them. My thoughts were frequently in Fahan today. May God bless all the people there and order all things for their good.

19 June, Monday

Wind still contrary... unable to make anything of it. A dark and gloomy day... the most disagreeable we have had since we came aboard. The passengers generally seem affected by the weather...spirits dull... little chess playing and little conversation. Wind rose considerably towards evening and sail was shortened in anticipation of a gale... blowing very fresh towards 9 o'clock P.M. we have reason to fear a night of rocking and general disquiet.

20 June, Tuesday

Last night we had the first real gale of wind which we encountered since leaving. My dear wife was sleeping calmly by my side and suddenly stirred during the night. I felt very uneasy but not positively afraid. The roaring of the wind was certainly terrific but the waves did not rise what is termed 'mountain high'. The children slept as usual very well and none of them awoke at all except Sam who asked me if I thought there was any fear of our being wrecked tonight and if this was a hurricane. I reassured him and he fell asleep almost immediately after. Notwithstanding Sam's stirring disposition, he feels and thinks. This morning winds still high and the air piercing cold. Moderated a little towards the evening. Making no way, tacking in order to hold our own... sometimes to the South West and again to the North East. Considerably calmer towards 10 o'clock and a general expectation is therefore entertained of a good night's repose. My dear Mother very much requires it... She was very much shaken last night.

21 June, Wednesday

Wind light but rather more favourable... sailing nearly East but not exceeding 4 knots. A dry but cold raw day. Everything is sadly monotonous... and it is certainly a great trial of patience this hope deferred and especially as we all along supposed that after passing the Cape we would be assured of good winds. It is bad to expect too much... when we do so we are almost always disappointed. Goldsmith is interesting me these heavy days... what a chaste style attained apparently without effort and how (very?) pleasing (because?) very natural. Strange that so few follow nature... whether created by authors or morbidly bred in readers and demanding gratification the present taste appears to me vitiated because unnatural to be easily understood by the unlearned seems to be dreaded as a damning quality by the writers of the present day and words etymologically the most difficult, and abstruse are eagerly seized and made to do service where simpler words would be very much more suitable and expressive.

22 June, Thursday

Wind still very light. This is the sixth day since we have made anything of it. Our voyage is likely to be a tedious one after all... however we ought not to complain... we have had very little interruption and comparatively little sickness and our treatment on board is everything we could expect. I would write much more had I a better way of doing so but I find this to be one of the unpracticable things on shipboard and study is not less so. Except towards midnight there is an unnecessary din, confused noises and heterogeneous sounds sufficient to render impossible the collection of two successive and related ideas... except such as the mind has long habituated to and which come without effort. There are indeed reasons of abstraction when noises are harmless and the mental ear is deaf to them but on such occasions my thoughts are invariably detected making a survey of past scenes, places and persons with such vivid impressions that when the reverie is passed I feel a kind of surprise that I cannot by a volition realize the while. But alas; I cannot by a former volition I rendered this impossible... my former home and people... Oh; how distant they are and will I ever possess another home... will I ever be loved, by another people? None but God could answer these questions and may He enable me to wait patiently till it is his will to resolve them in the revolving events of his good providence. For myself I fear not... I could conform to any circumstance and preach the Gospel wherever I could find people willing to hear me... but my dear wife and my dear children... this often proves rather much for my faith... may God increase it and make me feel assured that he will provide.

23 June, Friday

Sick and confined to my berth all day. Very little wind and not in the right direction. The quiet favourable for me in my time of suffering but not withstanding I would have preferred a measure of suffering had we only been making good way. Rather better towards evening and have reason to be thankful it is not worse with me.

24 June, Saturday

My health rather improved thank God. The weather still very fine and the wind against us. Making absolutely no progress. Our Captain seems rather disheartened by this delay. It teaches us how much we are dependent on the will of providence and how little we can accomplish by our own foresight, caution or prudence unless aided by a higher power... endeavoured to make some preparation hoping to be able to preach tomorrow forenoon. May we be kept mindful of the uncertainty of all things here below and especially of that which hangs over the life of man.

25 June, Sunday

The morning delightfully fine. We are sailing South West today... it is rather discouraging but we must be submissive to the Divine Will and wait the accomplishment of his gracious purposes. Preached this morning on the parable of the ten virgins... the attendance was tolerable. Distributed tracts among the passengers and sailors as I have done on previous occasions. Having expressed regret to the sailors at not seeing them at divine service although it came out unwillingly... still it did come out with some of them that not being invited by their officers was the only reason for their non-attendance. This I was sorry to hear plainly answered though I had previously suspected as much and it fully convinced me that were it not for the presence of the passengers there would be no acknowledgment on this ship of the obligations of Religion. I was glad to find that an old sailor... a Prussian... had a New Testament in his native language. May the tracts distributed be blessed to some of them. In the evening I had determined not to preach and had made no preparation but after Dr. Sealy had read the evening service the people sat expecting and rather than announce myself that I would not address them I opened my bible and thinking at the moment of the suitableness of the 14th. Chapter of Moses, I lectured from it acceptably and I trust usefully.

26 June, Monday

Another fine day with unfavourable wind. Thermometer indicating a considerable rise in temperature. If we can judge of the winter in New Zealand from this weather it must be very pleasant but it will require to possess many advantages to equal our own dear home that we have left. My health is not yet everything I could desire. I am a good deal enfeebled and a very thing affects me injuriously. The gossip of our fellow passengers is unceasing and the appetite for scandal insatiable. I have no sympathy with the lovers of such commodities but they seem to amuse those who deal in ????????? as if they were of less questionable value. Walked on Deck a good deal with sister Dorcas today and felt the better of it. Played a game of chess with Sam for the first time.

27 June, Tuesday

Beautiful as on a summers morn, the sun rose today. We are heading East but the wind is so light we are scarcely making any way. The birds are so tame today that they are swimming in flocks alongside the ship and diving for anything thrown to them... a fine albatross was among them for a little but all efforts to induce him to take a bait were unsuccessful. Our officers think there are indications of a sturdy increase of wind. I may here transcribe a few verses I hurriedly wrote on the Death of the sailor who was drowned on Friday, 9th. June, as formerly referred to.

Drowned

It was a day of wind and rain,
And waves were running high,
And we were sailing on the main
Beneath a Southern Sky.

All hearts were light for hope's bright star
Had shone upon our way,
And pointed to a land afar
Glad with her own bright ray.

Full half our voyage we have passed,
Nor cause for grief we had
And now the full sail beat to the mast,
Who could then well be sad?

Chief of our ship a man of heart,
In duty firm yet bland
Did well perform the Master's part
And well our comfort planned.

His mates were favourites with us all
True British sailors both
Ever alert at duty's call
To kindness never loth.

The hardy crew with cheerful song
Performed the mild command
Boldly the slippery decks along
Or while aloft they stand.

That day in various past time we
Clothed time in lightest dress
Some gazed upon the troubled sea
Some read Some played chess.

While thus engaged the cry arose
A man is overboard
And still the vessel onward goes
And still the billows roared.

But' 'to' the gallant ship soon 'lies'
Owning the helm-man's power
The revolving lifebuoy swiftly flies
Brave hearts the lifeboat lower.

But all in vain - the struggle's past
The charm of life is o'er.
He looks that awful look, the last
He sinks to rise no more

And who has perished from our sight?
Ah, whose sad fate was this
Whose day has thus dissolved in night?
For misery or bliss.

When first the alarming cry was rained
This was a fearful thought
And wives and mothers Jesus blest
They found the ones they sought.

Ah, he was friendless the lost one,
A lonely sailor boy.
Few tears were shed when he was gone
Little it marred our joy

But the widowed Mother of the lout
Of him oft speaks and prays
Thinking her darling still is tossed
Upon the storm waves.

But when to Merry England's Shore
Our ship again in borne
She learns her son returns no more
Then bitterly she'll morne

And often, often she will tell
Even till she finds her grave
O her son who from the 'Cashmere' fell
And sank beneath the wave.

But while of the sailor's fate we think
And of his mother's woe
Let us not forget how near the brink
Of the abyss below.

There's but a step 'tween us and death
That hand will seize us all
And mayhap sudden take our breath
Be ready for the call.

28 June, Wednesday

Wind more favourable but little of it. Expected to increase during the night... this expectation has begun, to be realized towards bedtime, naturally tending to elevate one's spirits, when a scene ensues between our Captain and Mr. Motherell which no one present will ever forget. Mr. Motherell certainly gave offence but a more terrible castigation could not have been inflicted by the "Little member" had it been of never so much more grievous a nature. With my whole heart I pitied him, for I well knew it was because of the deprecatory whispering about his previous conduct which had emboldened the Captain to go far for so trifling a matter. A slight interference of mine on the occasion was likely to bring down on me the indignation not only of the Chief in the affair but of some unconditional admirers of his.

29 June, Thursday

A fair wind and plenty of it. We are going nearly 9 knots this evening. Thank God the distance between us and New Zealand is fast decreasing. We commenced a game of chess this evening of three a side... on the one side The Captain, Mrs. Nixon and Joe Cochrane and on the other Dr. Sealy, Miss Hinde and myself. It is likely to be interesting. There are no incidents occurring worth recording and were it not for books this monotony would be terrible but with the variety of books and good health there need not be much ennui felt even on board a ship by any who are at all fond of reading. I recorded as a fact often observed by us of late that time is passing with as much apparent rapidity as ever it did in our lives. We almost wonder to think that ten weeks have passed away since we left Graves End.

30 June, Friday

Wind still fresh and fair. Getting on very satisfactorily. There seems to be no approach to the media of usual civilities between the belligerent parties of the other evening. It is passing strange that even in society so small that a ship's Cuddy can contain it there would not be uninterrupted harmony even for a few weeks. Alas; for poor fallen human nature. How much that is hard unkind and malignant is it constantly exhibiting... some members of our little company breathe only to their own satisfaction in this polluted atmosphere.

1 July 1854, Saturday

Finished our game of chess after breakfast this morning... our side successful... we played with great caution... perhaps the other side possessed really more skill but as in the game of life one false move may turn the balance either way. By the way in this respect the playing of a game of chess is a very good emblem of what should be the regulation of our conduct at all times. How many ruined men can trace all their misfortunes to one false step taken hastily and without due consideration. Indeed there are very few who have walked so wisely all their lives but as not to have been guilty of some indiscretions which though the evil consequences of them may have been in a great measure retrieved by their after conduct have never the less so far proved injurious as to render them out run and distanced in the race of life by those competitors who acted with greater foresight and produced throughout but more especially at the start. This day wind increased very much towards evening and a storm is apprehended. I have been preparing for tomorrow for a good part of the day.

2 July, Sunday

A memorable day. Last night towards morning the gale increased to a frightful extent and about 1 o'clock the storm was raging with great violence. All were in bed in our cabin but of course sweet sleep did not visit us. There were great apprehensions entertained for the safety of the ship from the violence and long continuance of the storm. The huge billows were terrific and when one of them would strike the ship it was like the shock a cannon shot would produce. At dawn this morning there was no abatement of the tempest and very few sat down at the breakfast table. We had prayer but to have preached would have been quite impracticable. I was surprised to see the insensibility of some and I was glad to see some touched when I scarcely hoped anything would influence. I am told some of the sailors were reading the Bible and praying and I do hope my informant was correct. One wave was so immense that the Captain felt assured it would sweep the decks from stem to stern. Fortunately only the tail of it struck us and we escaped with very little damage. The top of the bulwark on one side was broken off with a huge crash which made all who heard it think the ship was greatly damaged. For my own part I thought the ship could not survive long in such a sea and my mind was filled with a multitude of thoughts many of them distressing. I prayed almost incessantly and felt that as far as myself was concerned I could cast myself on God's mercy through Christ Jesus but I greatly desired to live and wondered that we had all been brought by many apparently strange coincidences to perish in this distant ocean. Not till after 6 o'clock this evening was there any great abatement either of wind or sea but after that time both decreased rapidly and we have the prospect of getting at least a tolerably good night's rest. I trust we are all truly thankful that God has preserved us and that very trifling injury of any kind has been done and I do hope that it may have been a storm bringing to some souls the influences of the spirit like mighty winds and torrents fierce... breaking down the strong holds of sin and driving them to Jesus. The Cashmere appears to be a good tight ship... she made very little additional water during the storm though it would not be at all surprising if she had. It was to me a matter of surprise that after so much straining she did not leak at every joining and many waves struck her with so much force that I thought them quite sufficient to stave her in. As to the grandeur etc. of the storm I cannot speak as I did not see it. I neither felt inclined nor deemed it prudent to go out during its continuance and if it be God's will I would never wish to see the sea raging so awfully as it did during those hours and I am sure I will never be able to look on a troubled Ocean without feelings of painful sympathy for those who may be in distress in the midst of it.

3 July, Monday

Thank God the storm is altogether past and we have this day a good and fair wind. There is a considerable swell and the ship is rocking a great deal. A motion the most unpleasant to be experienced at sea. Among the Steerage passengers and Sailors I found many truly grateful for our merciful deliverance. May the great goodness of God not be soon forgotten by any of us. May our vows made in the time of our trouble never be forgotten and may our spared lives be devoted to his service. How heartily I wish this voyage over.

4 July, Tuesday

Good strong favourable breeze today. Going 9 knots... dark weather... very much like December in Ireland. I find I can do very little in the way of reading or writing. Before breakfast there is not time or space. Breakfast is scarcely over when the confusion of preparation for the children's dinner commences and when that is over a very short time intervenes before the Cuddy is again occupied by the Stewards in laying the table for our own dinner and when that is over and dinner past it is almost night and absolutely nothing can be done till after tea and then the noise of the children playing, general conversation and card playing is so great and so incessant that anything requiring much thought is not to be undertaken except to prove a bitter failure. Yesterday some of our children were loud in their complaints that at dinner they had not got a share of some roast pork... but this morning several children were confined with sickness owing to their having eaten plentifully of pork which was under-done... so that the children found it was good for them not to have been permitted to get what they thought it was an injustice to be deprived of. Let me learn patience and contentment from this circumstance.

5 July, Wednesday

Wind still continues favourable. We are getting on very satisfactorily and have reason to hope that in three weeks at furtherest we will reach New Plymouth. We will pass the Island of St Paul this evening... leaving it more than 100 miles to the north of us. We had another game of Chess today Mr. Cochrane and Mrs. Nixon being winners. It seems rather inclined to blow hard tonight but I think it will not increase to a storm.

6 July, Thursday

This morning about half past four I was awoken with the noise of a very heavy sea breaking on our Quarter and washing the poop deck. There was very little wind after this but I was surprised to hear after I got up that there had been a great deal of wind during the night and that many of the passengers scarcely slept at all including my Father and my Mother. It appears there was a good deal of alarm among the Steerage passengers and for the first time I heard a whisper of something not well calculated to increase our confidence in an individual on whom very much depends and who is said to have been in a condition last night disqualifying him for the performance of his duty and at a time when the consequences might have been serious. Thank God my dear Rebecca, the children and myself slept well as usual and were undisturbed by any fear of danger. Beginning to think this day that I must endeavour to find leisure to arrange some sermons, addresses etc. for my first public appearances in Auckland should God in his good providence bring us thither in safety. For a week past my dear Rebecca is going out much more among other passengers than formerly and is, thank God in all respects herself again. Father, Mother and she are gaining flesh perceptibly. Dorcas the children and I with difficulty holding our own. I often think of our former home and cannot yet but feel many regrets. God knows when I shall cease to regret if ever. May I be fitted for my trials. It grieves us very much that we have not with us those things our dear brothers will be expecting us to have. I can't help it but this thought very much hinders the gladness of anticipating our Reunion. God knows I can scarcely account for our not at least procuring some little present for them but the sad disappointment we experienced on leaving made us neglect buying things.

7 July, Friday

Very cold today... wind favourable... blowing from N.W. Several showers... decks very wet and slippery. The Steerage is becoming very uncomfortable and I have very little pleasure in visiting it. With the exception of one Scottish family consisting of four individuals... Mrs. McKenzie, her two daughters and son-in-law there is to all appearances not even a professor of Religion in the Steerage. My own countrymen are manifestly more careless than I expected. Moses Wallace has exchanged for a place in the second cabin where he is much more comfortable and I hope better situated as to the matter of associates. The carpenter, a Scotsman, and apparently a very civil as well as a steady laborious able man has repaired the bulwark etc. broken by the late storm so that the "Cashmere" looks herself again.

8 July, Saturday

Wind fair and good. A bracing cold but dry day. A pleasant day for taking exercise on deck, but I was in my cabin from breakfast to dinner preparing for tomorrow and meditating in solitude on a great variety of subjects. I always find that when left much alone thoughts of home always intrude and in spite of resistance will occupy much of my time. Notwithstanding the tiresome sameness of our long voyage the weeks are passing rapidly away and in looking back I can scarcely think yet so it is, that we are this day 12 weeks on board the "Cashmere". We cannot reckon on less than four weeks more. They will pass away however and if they bring us to Auckland it will be with very mingled feelings I shall look on it and land upon its shore. Oh that there were no remaining doubts in my mind as to this being my providential path but alas... I am much more in doubt on this subject than I was before leaving Ireland. There I was convinced I saw my way clearly and felt comparatively little regret.

9 July, Sunday

A day of squalls and snow showers. On this sabbath morning many of the passengers and sailors were pelting each other with snowballs. The moral obligation of the sabbath seems to be almost wholely denied or disregarded by nearly all the English passengers. I preached this day morning and evening from Exodus 34, 26, and 27 on the glorious name of our God as revealed by himself. Oh that we all may be enabled to fear and love that sacred Name and to subscribe ourselves by it.

10 July, Monday

A good fair wind carrying us towards the hoped for land. Had some pleasant and profitable conversation in the Steerage with Mrs. McKenzie today. How very indicative of their good sense appears to me the very tone and accent of these Scotch people. My heart warms to them very much... but when I reach Auckland will the hearts of the Scotch people there warm towards me, an Irishman. This I very much fear... The power of prejudice is very great and hard to overcome. One of our Cuddy passengers, young Mrs. Hammerton is virtually Scotch... being brought up in Scotland from her childbirth and is a nice agreeable person... but it almost seems to me anomalous to find her notwithstanding all that is Scotch about her, an Episcopalian. Her husband is a very obliging kind hearted fellow... they have two fine children and he is only 23. In this respect he has shared a little of our Irish imprudence and improvidence as calculating people deem the qualities which lead to early marriages. With all my heart I wish that they may never have any reason themselves to consider their union to have been characterised by imprudence. His father and Mother, sisters and brothers are passengers. His father was a solicitor and a farmer in England and taken out with £1000 worth of machinery. His married son is to be his Engineer. They are to farm and have thrashing machines... sawmills... flourmills etc. Their cousins Mr. and Miss Hinde accompany them whose father is vicar of Featherstone in England. Mr. Hinde is also an Engineer and a Draughtsmen.

11 July, Tuesday

Last night it blew half a gale at 4 o'clock this morning J. Cochrane came into our Cabin to put down the dead lights and we scarcely slept after. The precaution is frequently necessary but no seas struck our quarter last night. The wind has not ceased throughout the day but it is very favourable and we are getting along well. This is Sam's birthday... he is ten years old today and in his body's growth and in mental capacity few boys of ten exceed him, and for this we are bound to thank God but we are kept humble by reflecting that he exhibits a good deal of waywardness and forwardness which while they may be owing in some measure to his mental activity make him impatient of restraint, show us how much we ought to endeavour to direct his mind to those subjects which may exercise a sobering and chastening influence upon him and destroy the natural pride of his heart. Mrs. Carrington, a second cabin passenger, who has been the most delicate person in the ship all the voyage gave birth last night to a stillborn child. The association recalls to my mind the little child born on board on the 11th May and whom I baptized. He is thriving well and is a good quiet baby. I addressed to him a few lines which I insert:

To The Ocean Child

Hail little stranger, child of Ocean
Sleeping on thy mother's breast.
Calmly in the wildest motion
As when winds are sunk to rest.
That morn when first we bade thee welcome
To this moving breathing Earth world
Scarce a cloud was in the welcome
Scarce a breath the waters curled
And lovely was that Sabbath morning
When we met for worship as our wont
In innocence thy meek adorning
They brought you to the sacred font.
And while winds here gently murmuring
Prayer of heaven for thee was made
And for thee unconscious slumbering
Vows were uttered to be paid.
Thy father at thy baptism gave thee
The names our ship and Captain bore
Which with his own may heaven save thee
Make thy name 'George Cashmere Shaw'.
The sea on thy natal morn resembled
Thy own placid gentle sleep—
In its fury we have filled with trembling
Deep wildly calling unto deep.

So when you may hereafter often
Be tossed upon life's stormy sea
May God in love the rough winds soften,
When they blow, dear child, on thee.

12 July, Wednesday

Very cold day... wind still fair but fell considerably towards the evening when we had two or three very heavy showers of hail. The barometer has been getting gradually lower for some days and I think there are such apprehensions of sudden squalls that we are not carrying as much cloth as we might other wise do. The number of the crew is scarcely equal to the requirements of the ship and certainly not equal to an emergency. I had a long walk on deck with J.C. today and our conversation awakened fresh regrets in my mind on account of many of the occurrences of the last few months and especially the unkind treatment not to say the positive injustice which I have had to endure at the hands of the man whom I had always regarded as being at least one of the most scrupulously honest men I have ever met with. Who then can be trusted? Who has the ability and the will to befriend me and mine? I am not sure of possessing any such earthly friend... but I know if we seek God with our whole heart we will never want a friend whose friendship is better than that of all the world beside.

13 July, Thursday

Wind very dull during last night... improved after 10 o'clock today and continues favourable blowing from the South West. There are still frequent showers of rain and hail and the weather altogether very wintry. The barometer is lower today than it has been since the commencement of the voyage. It is down to 'Rain'. I am amused and surprised at the continuing gossip of our Cuddy party... not a day passes but some new piece of scandal or something approaching it turns up. Sometimes the ladies sometimes the servants... the Captain at one time mixed up in it... Mr. Wetherell at another... Mr. Sedgewick first mate at another. Some all smiles today... will be at daggers drawn tomorrow. Some all compliments and courtesy to an individual when they are defaming on every fitting opportunity. It is an atmosphere I never liked to draw a breath in and here I am choked with it. God grant I may escape it if we get ashore. Before leaving home I got more than enough of it and I fear it will always surround some people wherever they are. Oh that we all remember the precept 'By love serve one another' and 'Let all good things be done in Charity'. Query... Will any person of Discernment who unhappily possesses the un-amiable weakness of loving to exhibit the failings of others not try to conceal that disposition from those whose good opinion is desirable lest the knowledge of it would rather lower the individual in their estimation?

14 July, Friday

Going on prosperously. All the passengers in good health and with few exceptions in tolerable spirits. Those who are in complaining mood have themselves to blame as they are dissatisfied with every trifling annoyance and regard some slight unintentional neglect as injustice of partiality. In any disputes which have occurred I have hitherto most carefully avoided any interference and by the Grace of God will do so during the remainder of this voyage. I have as I believe been treated very coolly by a person at whose hand I did not expect it but I have not resented it and if there be any misunderstanding I would be very glad to have it removed, as it is my sincere wish to retain the friendship of old friends while I endeavour to make new ones. Nothing certainly is more vexing to me than to be slighted by those whom I respect and whom I deemed entertained similar feelings towards myself. I feel how unpleasant I am situated here and especially when viewed in contra distinction to my situation in my own dear home. There I was surrounded by affectionate friends and people who knew and loved me... here I am not known or understood... I have no doubt I am regarded as distant and morose... and such is the bigotry and such the prejudice of these high Church people that I fear their attendance upon Ordinances in which I minister can only be resolved into a sort of respectful suffering which is owing very likely to the good fellowship, attention and suavity of J. Cochrane than to anything else.

15 July, Saturday

A good breeze today and getting on very nicely. Occupied during the day in preparation for tomorrow. Beginning to feel very nervous about my first public preaching in Auckland if in the good providence of God we be brought safely thither. Oh that I were constantly anxious to please God and to promote his Glory and the advancement of Christ's Kingdom. May God give me a single eye and simplicity of aim and purpose. The day is considerably longer which I feel to be a great comfort especially at dinner as in the shortest days and dark weather it was almost groping with me. This evening I was able to see easily at our cabin window the dial of my watch at half past five o'clock.

16 July, Sunday

A squally day... very severe showers of hail... not so cold as some of the past days however... wind right aft and not being able to carry much cloth on account of the suddenness and frequency of the squalls... the rolling was very great and rendered the conducting of the services a little troublesome in the matter of posture. Preached in the morning from Acts 26.28. 'Almost thou persuadest me to be a Christian' and in the evening from 1st. Thes. 5.20. 'Despise not Prophesings'. The attendance was as usual. For the first time the Captain was absent from both services. He appeared to be generally an attentive hearer but he manifested no signs of seriousness in matters of Religion...and alas, the same thing might be said truly of the vast majority of our passengers. How true it is that 'The world lieth in Wickedness' and well may we ask looking not only at the state of the world but at the state of Christian Churches 'when the Son of man cometh will he find faith on the Earth'. The squalls are becoming more numerous towards turning in time and there is little promise of a quiet night's rest. May our trust be in the name of the Lord.

17 July, Monday

Last night after retiring my spirit was chafed far beyond what the offence warranted and I was disposed to look only at the trifling causes of vexation which sometimes arise and to receive no impression from the multitude of mercies and loving kindnesses with which God is daily loading me and I suffered my tongue to utter unkind and bitter words which even at the moment my heart condemned. How frail we are... How desperately wicked and deceitful are our depraved passions and when we went from want of prayerful watching permit ourselves to be delivered over to the storm of anger we are like a ship tempest tossed without rudder mercilessly driven, beaten and shocked by the chafing surges pursuing each other in quick succession... seeming to vie with each other in the impetuosity of their fury and in an ungoverned eagerness to engulf their victim. The night turned out a rolling disturbed sleepless one. There were some very heavy hail showers with a good deal of wind with them. The greatest roll yet felt in the voyage filled us with momentary alarm. I really thought the ship was gone quite down on her side and that she would not right again. Thank God it was much better after all than we expected it to be and though we spent a sleepless night we made good progress as today at 12 o'clock we had made 225 miles. This day the wind is still aft but not so good and now at 10 o'clock p.m. it is almost calm.

18 July, Tuesday

Foul wind this morning but little of it. During the night the wind was fair but changed at 8 A.M. and we have sailed today S.E. by South at about 4 knots. The barometer is very low and falling still more. There are apprehensions of a storm but we are in the hands of a kind providence who may send us more favourable weather than our meteorological phenomena seems to indicate. Old Mr. Hammerton and my father look at the Barometer about every half hour from 7 in the morning till 9 or 10 at night and are sanguine or melancholic according to its rise or fall. Doubtless others feel an equal anxiety but do not manifest it and some of the knowing ones occasionally hoax the old gentlemen by moving up the index and thus leading them to believe that the mercury is falling with hurricane boding rapidly. The rain fell in torrents during the day so that the fear of wind was a little abated but when the rain was over and the glass still looking down the anxiety was renewed and not a few turn in tonight expecting a severe gale before morning.

19 July, Wednesday

Fine clear morning... wind foul but scarcely any of it... mere puffing... sails hanging loosely... the ship rocking lazily. Last night was a very restless, sleepless one to the most of us... the rocking was incessant... a continuing see-saw... most wearying to the flesh. I was up and down frequently during the night feeling no inclination to sleep but anxious to keep books from falling, mugs from breaking, water from spilling etc. Several breakages partly caused by our uncomfortable motion have occurred in the cabin during the last few days consummating this morning by the entire destruction of a very convenient potter's vessel which had safely occupied a tiny little nook in our cabin during the whole of the previous part of the voyage. Sic transit gloria. About 12 o'clock the wind again changed to the west and freshened up in a few hours to a good breeze bringing with it a good deal of rain and an angry appearance but at 9 P.M. we had a very fine night and a fair breeze. All Well. May we enjoy a good night's repose and feel secure in the protection of the Almighty.

20 July, Thursday

This morning the wind is right aft but there are still squalls flying about so that we have but few sails set and our progress is indifferent. Last night the wind blew very hard for a few hours and I felt more anxiety and alarm than I did since embarking. I was awakened by the fearful sound of wind and waves and the ship seemed to me to be driving with tremendous speed through the water. Upon enquiring this morning I found this was a 'mer 'animi Sonitus' as she had been kept as close to the wind as possible and was only going about 5 knots. I could not keep my berth and was up and dressed from 1:30 A.M. to 6 A.M.... part of the time in my father's cabin where they were all awake and had been rather alarmed like myself. The wind blew hardest at 2 P.M. but at 4 P.M. a tremendous shower of hail fell and immediately the wind fell almost to a calm when the rocking commenced which has continued more or less since. The wind is now fair and we are getting along well. The barometer is rising and we are all hoping that it will please providence that the strong comfortless weather we have had for sometime past will be succeeded by agreeable weather which will last till our arrival in New Zealand. We are now all getting on very quietly and upon the which our time is passing more pleasantly than it did. No one is enjoying better health nor better spirits than my dear Rebecca and God in his kindness enables her to enjoy sleep when all are awake and anxious except herself. My father and Mother are quite well and we are to each other a great source of mutual comfort and happiness... the unaccountable coolness of my sister Anne is the only draw-back to my comfort at present.

21 July, Friday

Weather still showery but the glass rising gradually and steadily. Wind fair and getting on very satisfactorily. Hoping now that ten days more and perhaps less will bring us to New Plymouth, God's will be done May he be with us in mercy and all will be well. This day I was sent for to visit a sick sailor in the forecastle. Found three of them on the sick list. The man who sent for me is suspected to be a dodger i.e. merely pretending illness. This I am inclined to disbelieve and am of the opinion that had he been treated a little more considerately when he first complained he might now be fit for duty. Certainly he exhibits symptoms of sickness today. He appeared anxious about his spiritual state... was not entirely ignorant of scriptural truths... excused himself for neglect of religious duties by pleading influence of evil example and I endeavoured to instruct him in the way of truth more perfectly and those who were with him and prayed with them. I afterwards sent them suitable tracts.

22 July, Saturday

All rejoiced at the great improvement of the weather this morning... a beautiful day, clear and spring like with a good steady wind... all sails set going sometimes 10 knots during the past night averaged 8. I enjoyed the open air and the now unusual sight of our ship in full sail a little while before breakfast but was not out afterwards except a little after dinner being engaged preparing for tomorrow's services. We have had two or three showers during the day and it is still looking thick and heavy but barometer steady.

23 July, Sunday

A good wind but looking rather squally. Conducted services as usual in the Cuddy. Preached morning and evening from Phill. 3.20. 'For our conversation is in heaven'. Felt a good deal put about in my services in the morning by the marked inattention of Mr. Cochrane and Miss Hinde. God forbid I had long such people to minister to. I believe the prejudice pride and intolerance of the high church party in the Church of England is as bad as the worst phase of Popery could exhibit. As for my brother-in-law I would much like to know him... I confess my utter ignorance of his sentiments towards me... one thing I know he manifests to me less amiability of disposition than he does to any other of the party. He is greatly changed from what he was in times long past. This evening looks very dark and gloomy and we are likely to have rather an uncomfortable night.

24 July, Monday

This morning about 4 o'clock the wind came very high and there was little sleep after and indeed for a good while before that hour. It was expected we would see Van Dieman's Land in the morning about 10 o'clock but we had got on much better than we anticipated and had passed that island about the time the seas began to rise in the morning. It was from this circumstance, the waves from the North and short broken spells they concluded where they were even before they had taken the longitude. When it was taken we found the past had been one of our best days as we were in 149 degrees E.L.... 2 degrees East of Hobart Town. The wind continued to blow very fresh during the day but as we were going close to the wind for the purpose of making headway our speed wasn't great. New Plymouth folk are beginning to pack up and have all things in readiness for disembarkation. Mrs Sealy would be very anxious to be in time to attend church once in New Plymouth on Sabbath next to thank God in his own house for their safe passage etc.

25 July, Tuesday

This morning there was a very unlooked for sight awaiting us when we turned out. We thought Mary Jane our servant had been hoaxed by somebody who told her that Van Dieman's Land was in sight... but it turned out to be quite true and that we were in error in supposing we had passed that land yesterday. The truth is the Chronometers were very incorrect and we could not have been less than 8 or 9 degrees astray in reckoning. The consequences might have been awful. Of course supposing we had passed Van Dieman's Land North East as the course we wished to sail and had that night been foggy or wet we would likely have been driven on the land. As it was we had according to the account of the sailors and passengers, a narrow escape although the ship's officers say otherwise. Where the rocks known by the name of 'Eddystone' were seen by the man on watch it is said we were sailing directly towards them and would have been on them in about half an hour. I regard it as merciful providential interposition and I trust we will be truly grateful to our gracious God who did not leave us to be overwhelmed in the waters of the Ocean but has shown us that his arm is mighty to save even when human skill and foresight are utterly at fault. We saw different parts of Van Dieman's Land at intervals during the early part of the day and as the wind was light we did not make more than 4 to 6 knots. The wind has freshened up towards bedtime and we are getting on well.

26 July, Wednesday

This was a very delightful morning with a good fairing breeze which continued all day. Last night there was a great deal of sheet lightning which led to the apprehension of a gale but so far there is no indication of anything but weather. There is I believe a possibility of our reaching New Plymouth by Sabbath yet but it would require a good wind as at present, the whole time, which we can hardly expect. I find very little can be done down here. Here I sit in my own Cabin writing this Journal and the motion is so great that I can scarcely keep the pen on the paper and my whole body is twisted and wearied excessively with the reeling I am subjected to.

27 July, Thursday

A very favourable wind and just enough of it at least during the greater part of the day. In the evening it became calmer and they are likely to be able to keep up the sails all night. Something took Mr. Motherell's toe this afternoon and he got rid of a good deal of bile or Billingsgate Mrs. Alexander being the subject. I believe the attack was altogether unprovoked but in a man constituted as he is the cold indifference and contempt with which he has been treated in that quarter are highly provocative and I think it is the dictate of prudence to provoke no one even though we do not live in a house of glass and though the provoked party be impotent to harm us. Civility for all is a nice maxim and were we all to practice it, how free would we be from all those disgraceful bickerings which an opposite course produce. Paid my subscription today towards raising a fund for the mother of the drowned sailor boy. Reading (????) Letters which are admirable. Time is passing with much more laggard pace now that we are coming near to the end of the voyage and counting the days. God grant we may have a happy meeting with all our friends and that we find nothing amiss. This despondency is a sad thing... but whether I will or not vexing and distressing thoughts will obtrude themselves and are keeping me habitually low spirited.

28 July, Friday

Wind not so good... all sails even (??) sails set. Very smooth sea. A beautiful bright day. Wrote the following verses as a farewell to our fellow passengers who leave at New Plymouth.

Farewell

Farewell companions of our Ocean Home
Over 16000 miles of treacherous seas
(Now calm as sleeping child now lashed to foam)
Emblem of life and sinner's destiny.

With breaking hearts and eyes suffused to tears
We bade adieu to England's shore,
Our bosoms torn with various hopes and fears.
Most to behold our native land no more.

By various fates and various fortunes led
To seek another and far distant land,
We dried at length the bitter tears we shed
Trusting our all in the Almighty hand.

And now perforce one family we were
Who must for weeks and months together dwell:
And on each other happiness confer
Or make our ship a very type of Hell.

The weeks and months their rapid course have sped
And though not free from imperfection's strain
Yet yon mild charity, prejudices fled,
And dark distrust and hatred in their train.

And Sabbaths were alliances of love,
Our faith the same... we shared each others forms
And sought together mercy from above
To guide us mid life's dangerous calms and storms

By mutual knowledge, friendships stronger grew,
Until it rivalled e'en the growth of years:
And kindness, sympathetic bosoms drew,
To tell each other all their hopes and fears.

Thus passed the swiftly flying time away,
Which we had feared would prove distressing long:
And some would gladly have it longer stay
That they might longer be such friends among

'Tis true not alloyed our joys have been
Some trifling bitter mingled with the sweet:
The edge of temper oft is all too keen
And judging too, severer than is meet.

But let this pass... as did those awful gales,
Which for a little filled our hearts with fear
And to life's gentler breezes spread the sails
Hasting to wipe from Sorrow's eye the tear.

Go ever shine where darkness is most dense,
And ever holy principles maintain:
The Tribune God will be your sure defence
And true it is that Godliness is gain.

And now Farewell: Mayhap a long Farewell
May blessings rest upon you from above
And may we all in Heaven Dwell
And sing the praises of redeeming love

But see; your voyage now is almost o'er
And snow capped Egmont rises to our view
Your boats will land you on New Plymouth's shore
And we must say again 'Adieu Adieu'

This afternoon the wind improved a good deal and we are getting on very well. Sam alarmed his grandpapa greatly this morning by venturing in some dangerous part of the ship... unfortunately he is reckless and it is of God's mercy that some accident hasn't occurred to him ere this. At home his fondness for riding horses and here his forwardness in pulling ropes and reefing sails have exposed him to frequent perils. The management of such a boy I confess is a matter I do not rightly understand may the grace of God do what I cannot do and sanctify his natural abilities which are of no mean order to God's service and make him if spared a good citizen and a Christian. Although this day was so fine I wasn't out more than 5 minutes... engaged reading and writing the whole day except an hour or two in the twilight. This evening about 6 o'clock Mrs. Sealy the wife of our Doctor gave birth to a daughter... mother and child doing well. They had intended stopping at New Plymouth but it is likely she may not be sufficiently recovered to leave the ship when we arrive there and that they will go on to Auckland. It is worthy of observation that the two births which have taken place on board have been on about the finest days we have had on our passage. We are going now at 9 o'clock P.M. about 6 knots... we are likely to have some rocking tonight. I hope not for Mrs. Sealy's sake.

29 July, Saturday

Fine day but making little way. Engaged from breakfast to dinner preparing for tomorrows services. No expectation now of seeing New Plymouth before Monday but almost assured we will see Mt. Egmont as early as we can see it in the morning. Have felt rather inspirited today from what cause I can scarcely tell. May God make it permanent.

30 July, Sunday

Wind contrary. Scarcely any of it. Preached morning and evening from Deut. 12.9. 'Ye are not yet come to the rest and the inheritance which the Lord your God giveth you'. A good attendance in the evening. Endeavoured to apply the subject to our own circumstances and addressed the passengers to New Plymouth for the last time. It is probable they will never again hear my voice as a preacher... nor I address them as hearers. This was an impressive consideration and I felt it and endeavoured to impress it. I conversed by writing a good while with the deaf and dumb boy today and felt it very interesting to myself and profitable too and I hope it was so to him. Although the voyage has not been made as profitable as it might have been but I was utterly impotent to make it so. The card playing in the evenings constantly kept up and was I am fully persuaded an effectual barrier to the accomplishment of any good to those who engaged in it.

31 July, Monday

Almost a calm... the very light wind which is almost imperceptible constantly changing... not going a mile and hour. We are learning how entirely we are dependent on God and it is a good lesson to have impressed on our minds as we are nearing our destination. The day is one of the finest... indeed I may say the finest we have had since we left England. Not warmer, nor more cloudless than we had in the Tropics but more genial and fanning us with the balmy breath of spring. We were all deceived today in supposing we saw M. Egmont in the great distance and even Rebecca and Mrs. Nixon came on deck to see it. (?) where was before for a couple of months. The imaginary mountain soon disappeared and when the longitude was taken it was found we were still distant from it about 140 miles. We all walked on deck a good deal today except Rebecca who although she takes absolutely no exercise is yet very well. We were amused no little at a walking match between my father and Miss Bell Harriett Hammerton. My father walked best but the air and look of determination and mighty effort exhibited in his countenance and were so like anger that he might be supposed to be resenting an insult or contending with his mortal foe was irresistible and unfilial though it was I laughed immoderately. Mrs. Nixon beat him by a kind of hop step and jump and exalted with triumphant air at her supposed success. She seems in many respects a character.. I hope she will prove on further acquaintance an amiable character... it occurs to me that a long friendship with her will be best secured by a moderate degree of intimacy.

1 August 1854, Tuesday

This day the exact counterpart of yesterday. At 12 o'clock we found we had just made 30 miles from 12 o'clock yesterday and to all appearance we will make little more today. Several times a tantalizing puff made us suppose the wind was coming but we as often were disappointed. The day was very warm... just what we would consider a fine June day in Ireland and if this be a fair specimen of the early spring in New Zealand the climate at least is not over-rated in the accounts we have received of it. Had another long conversation with the deaf and dumb boy today and visited the sick sailor in the forecastle where I had an opportunity of talking to and praying with several of the crew. I rather fear the treatment of the sailors in this ship savours too much of a harsh discipline... they are to a man dissatisfied and if they can get it accomplished they will leave this ship at Auckland. I fancy Masters and mates have a good deal to do in making the characters of sailors and that if they did their duty as Christian men the sailors as a class would be of a different stamp.

2 August, Wednesday

This day also beautifully fine. Expected this morning to get a sight of land... towards evening all looked out very anxiously for that desirable object... I had gone over to the forecastle and pointed to what Mr. Carrington a second cabin passenger considered the 'loom' of land when John Ferguson my father's servant who had gone up to the cradle of the foremast called out "land land" and sure enough he was right... it was the long looked for Mt. Egmont. During the continuance of daylight this was very partially visible... we all looking forward very eagerly to daylight of tomorrow to behold less dimly our adopted country.

3 August, Thursday

Egmont visible this morning in all it's glory. What a magnificent cone with it's resplendent snowy mantle shining in the light of the morning sun. Smaller mountain heights less distinctly visible and land on either side of the mountain falling away gradually till lost in sea still less distinctly visible. During the day we made little progress towards New Plymouth as there was almost an entire calm. In the evening the sunset was the finest we witnessed since we left England and indeed during our lives. Perfectly unclouded did that bright luminary sink into the Ocean. Fancy could not paint more beautiful clouds than his rays, painted all round the western horizon and Egmont immediately opposite which had been covered with vapours during the afternoon became very clear on it's apex, which reflected most resplendently the gilded beams of the glorious sun, even for some moments after he was hid from our view. The opinion of the weather wise is that this sunset betokens a continuance of fair weather though some sailors are expecting a change. What reason on reviewing all the way our God has brought us hitherto to give thanks unto his holy name for his enduring mercies... and Oh how little real gratitude there is in our hearts. How prone we are to be joyful on receiving gifts but to be wickedly unmindful of the Giver.

4 August, Friday

This morning we were awakened by an uncommonly furious squall which created immense confusion in the ship and excited no little alarm among the timorous. The wind sprang up earlier but only gently and a squall was not at all anticipated. Fortunately no harm was done and the wind had ceased in a very few minutes. In the morning Egmont was completely covered but a great part of the Taranaki District was visible and becoming more distinctly so every few minutes. We could discern the timber lands very easily at first... then the cultivated fields and houses and (?) etc. As we sailed North three rocks near the anchorage at New Plymouth were the most prominent objects... they are called 'The Sugar Loaves' from their shape... one stands on the shore and the other two in a line from it into the sea at about equal distances from each other... high water ships could if necessary sail between them but they do not require to do so. As we neared we could perceive the white houses of New Plymouth which appears a scattered town but very beautifully situated and surrounded by a country which I have no doubt will in a few years merit the appellation given it by Hursthouse... 'The Garden of New Zealand'. Here a pilot comes aboard to point out the best anchorage and we shortly saw a boat leaving the shore but while expecting to see it near us heavy squalls to the westward were gathering and some of the men who were aloft reefing the mizzen saw the boat turn again towards the shore. Indeed our Captain had little expectation of being able to anchor as the glass was falling and the wind blowing on the shore. It was tantalizing and the New Plymouth passengers were very much cast down about it as they fully expected to be on shore in an hour or so. The circumstance of having no harbour will ever be a serious drawback to the prospects of New Plymouth and I believe if parties were aware of this to its full extent they would be discouraged from immigrating to it at all. However for rural life it is probably unsurpassed and those who are willing to give up other things for rural beauty, retirement and quietude will doubtless find here, if anywhere, those wished for blessings realized. The evening wore rather a stormy aspect and with close reefed topsails and sailing close to the wind we are heading at 9 o'clock P.M. North West by West. Another Brig wishes to get anchorage at New Plymouth from where we can't tell is also standing off from land.

5 August, Saturday

Last night was very squally and I was sleepless and restless. We tacked several times to avoid going far to sea and what with the noise of sailors and wind and occasional pitching and rocking I was completely upset. Rebecca and the children slept well. This morning we are 20 miles from land. Egmont is clearly visible. We are sailing S.W. by W.... very little wind... day fine... wind freshening a little about 12 o'clock but is blowing off the land. During the forenoon I was engaged preparing for tomorrow. Little did I think last Sabbath when addressing my fellow passengers that so many would be with us this day... how little we know of the future. There is reason to hope from appearances this evening that we may be at anchorage off New Plymouth tomorrow.

6 August, Sunday

This morning we were very near the anchorage but as frequent tacking was necessary we did not cast anchor till about 10 o'clock. Sometime previous the boat with the pilot and Willis's Agent Mr. Nash had come alongside and we were very glad to see the faces of our fellow men dwelling in this distant island of the sea. Mr. Nash breakfasted with us. He has not been here more than six weeks... he came on the 'Eclipse'. Three or four of the settlers were in the boat beside him... among them were a Mr. Gray and a Mr. Blachman, Scotchmen and Presbyterians... they were very glad to see me and I learned some thing of the state of religion in New Plymouth. From their statements I would infer that there is very little religion in the place, except what is external and nominal. I promised them to try and go ashore before we left that I might converse with one or two more of their number. Immediately after casting anchor a boat load of passengers and luggage left us and another in the afternoon. It is a question whether this was a work of necessity but considering all circumstances it would require very great faith to act in accordance with a negative answer to this question. We found it quite impossible to have a morning service today as at the usual hour of holding it the confusion was very great... in the evening I preached and although the majority of our Cuddy passengers had left there was a good attendance as we had more than usual of the steerage and second cabin passengers.

7 August, Monday

A beautiful day. The boat made three trips to and from the beach today taking out goods and passengers. Jos. Cochrane went on shore today. I had told him my intention to go when he was going but he slipped away without me, I suppose choosing his company. We all enjoyed the view of the town, adjacent country, and especially Mt. Egmont from the ship very much today. In the very clear moonlight in the evening Egmont was a magnificent object of sight and contemplation. Mrs. Sealy went on shore today in her cot. Dr. Sealy had gone a shore the previous day and procured lodgings. The Hammertons with the exception of young Mrs. H. left without even bidding goodbye to some of us. How much attention was lost on some of that party and others too.

8 August, Tuesday

Another delightful day. Warm as a summer at home. Went a shore in the morning boat which left rather early for breakfast. Was astonished to find a tremendous surf on the beach. Warned off by a flag hoisted on the flag staff. We sailed some time until the tide would have ebbed further when the surf decreased. We held on by a buoy to which is attached a cable which is also made fast on shore and with the assistance of which, place in a runner on the bowline of the boat the crew more steadily and securely than with their oars propel her up on the beach. This morning while holding on the buoy the chain attaching it to the anchor broke and we were soon drifting towards the shore. The men took to their oars and by stout rowing and careful watching on the approach of two great breakers we got safely on the shore of New Zealand. The few Maoris I saw did not appear strange to me... probably from the account I had read of them and aided by fancy the whole scene appeared to me as one with which I was quite familiar. A few days previous a dispute had arisen between two of the tribes on an agrarian question and 16 persons of the tribe friendly to the Europeans were shot... seven of whom have since died. These people were working at a road through the bush for the settlers when the hostile tribe whose Chief is a fractious mob orator sort of a fellow ordered them to desist which they would not do and after first firing over them and then in the ground they fired among them when the result was as stated above. The old friendly Chief and his son were both mortally wounded. The Chief died in hospital and was buried yesterday in the burying place of his fathers. I believe the funeral was rather an imposing spectacle. There were but few of the natives in town today and I learned that the reason was that the road was Tapu or made sacred on account of the outrage. They are boiling with indignation and the hostile Chief is expected to be soon the victim of their revenge. He is said to be very low in spirits and some are of the opinion that he will commit suicide. These natives are all nominal Christians... The deceased Chief was a Wesleyan. New Plymouth is a very scattered irregular place as most new towns are (the streets are marked out pretty regularly but the houses are of all sizes and shapes and dotted here and there so that at little distance you would suppose there was no such thing as a regular street). With the exception of the Episcopalian Church which is built of beach stones all of the houses are wood. The town occupies a rising ground sloping gradually up from the sea to a considerable height... from the Church you look down upon the town and from Mt. Marsden a terraced round Mount immediately behind the church, you command a magnificent view of the town and the whole of the surrounding country. There seems to be a considerable breadth of well cultivated land and the cultivated land and the ancient forest stretching away as far as the eye can reach. I met with four Presbyterians, heads of families, Dr. Wilson, a very popular man in New Plymouth, a magistrate and the Medical Superintendent of the Government Hospital for the Maoris: Mr. Black, a baker and a substantial man who has been 13 or 14 years in the colony; Mr. Gray a Haberdasher and General Storekeeper and Schoolmaster and a Mr. Ritchie of whom I only learned that he is a second cousin of Dr. Wilson. I found that sometime after Mr. Gray commenced a correspondence with the Rev. William Bruce about the practicability of supplying them with a preaching occasionally in New Plymouth and latterly Mr. Bruce has been corresponding with Mr. Wilson. He has promised them that when he can get a supply for his pulpit for a few Sabbaths he will pay them a visit. With the new arrivals by the 'Cashmere' they don't number more than 12 families... one or two of which are at a distance of more than ten miles from New Plymouth. It is quite evident that they are not in a position to have a minister of their own yet... though they speak very confidently of getting accessions from the Episcopalians, the Methodists and especially Independents whose minister is not very popular on account of some inconsistency of conduct. The Wesleyan preacher, an excellent man, has his time fully occupied with the natives. The Episcopal Clergy don't visit the people and altogether there is a great deadness among the Europeans. I partook of the hospitality of Mr. Black and Mr. Gray and was regaled with New Zealand produce in the shape of bread, cheese, butter, honey and preserved Cape Gooseberries all of which were excellent and the zest with which I partook of them was enhanced not only by my not having regularly breakfasted but by the kind and cordial manner in which they were offered. I had some idea of remaining in New Plymouth overnight and holding a meeting and they seemed anxious that I should, but being told that the Captain was determined to be on board sometime tonight and that a change of weather was apprehended I judged it prudent not to remain. The surf was again very considerable on the beach where I parted with the Hindes and the Hammertons. Mrs. Alexander also remained on shore with them thinking there was no risk as the Captain was there. In the ship after my arrival we spent the evening very pleasantly and harmoniously... the only evening of which it could be said that all in the Cuddy were on kindly terms with each other. The night looked well at 10 o'clock.

9 August, Wednesday

Surprised to hear the rain before daylight this morning and to feel the vessel pitching a good deal. The morning looked threatening. Mrs. Alexander came on board by the boat which arrived just as we had finished breakfast. We were sorry to find the Captain was not in her and it did not certainly satisfy us when we heard that what detained him was that he and Jos. Cochrane were to breakfast with Mr. Nash the Agent. After the boat was loaded as the sea was rising very fast our lifeboat was lowered to tow her to windward, but they had to return and with the boat was rowed in another sheltered direction round by the beach. Very shortly afterwards the Chief Officer Mr. Sedgewick having been signaled from the shore thought it prudent to slip anchor, hoist sail and go to sea and we were soon almost out of sight of the Sugar Loaves. The wind increased considerably for some time and the sea rose but the rain fell very heavily and for a long time which lowered both wind and waves and then at half past nine the ship turned towards New Plymouth again and we are getting on very steadily and smoothly. Our Chief Officer is an excellent seaman and is very cool and steady in command.


Then comes a break in the day to day recordings in the Journal of Reverend John Macky.
The next entries are as follows:


20 August, Sunday, 1854

Arrived in Auckland... being Sabbath heard Mr. Bruce preach... Brother Thomas accompanied me... found all friends well... My feelings in meeting them I will not attempt to describe.


END OF VOYAGE

23 August, Wednesday

General Fast... The War... Mr. Bruce preached in the morning... I held prayer meeting in the evening.

27 August, Sunday

Preached in Auckland in the morning from #nd, Cor: 2. 14 & 15... and in the afternoon commenced my ministry in Otahuhu by preaching from Acts 10. 29. The service was conducted in Mr. Baird's Store beside his wharf... Mr. Bruce accompanied me from Auckland and introduced me to the people by whom I was kindly received. The afternoon was rather unfavourable and the roads shockingly bad... still the attendance was considerable.................

From this time continued to preach every Sabbath morning in Otahuhu and fortnightly on the Sabbath afternoons in Tamaki and Howick. Services held in Mr. Baird's House in the months of March and April 1855. The store being so occupied we could not have the use of it. Weekday services occasionally held in near Papakura McLennan's... Slippery Creek and Wairos from the commencement of my ministry here till the arrival of Mr. Morris in October 1855.

Mr. Bruce was absent in Sydney... March and April 1855. Mr. Salmon in Auckland for some weeks... Mr. Bruce's Pulpit supplied by me for five Sabbaths during his absence.

6 May 1855

Preached for the first time in the new Church or Schoolhouse... it being still in a very unfinished state.

11 November 1855

Mr. Bruce preached opening sermon and made a collection towards liquidation of the debt.

23 December 1855

Our first Communion Sabbath in Otahuhu... Mr. Bruce assisted me and preached on the Friday Evening previous...it was upon the whole a happy Communion season and I trust a time of refreshing to not a few. To me it is a great cause of thankfulness that I have found in Mr. Bruce such qualities of mind and heart as have enabled me from the beginning of our intercourse to feel towards him as a brother. Were it not for such friendship as his I would feel much more keenly my separation from those brethren whom I have left and with whom I often took sweet counsel.

16 March 1856

Mr. Frazer preached in Otahuhu. He was on his way to Canterbury... sent out by the F.C.S. The vessel "Oriental" by which he came was detained for several weeks in Auckland.

3 April 1856

This day the building of my dwelling house was commenced. We have been living in my brother James; house in Papatoitoi since our arrival and have been in many ways very greatly obliged by him. The horse "Jack" which has hitherto been my faithful servant in all my journeyings was a present from my sister-in-law, his wife, and the horse and cows have been pastured in his paddock and we have had the benefit of his garden and besides he was the largest subscriber to the building of the church having given 50 pounds towards it.

The paddock on which my house is building was given to me by my dear brother, Thomas and for the fencing, ploughing, sowing with wheat and oats both brothers Thomas and William shared a large portion of the expense. Were it not for their kindness I would have no means of procuring a house to live in... may God make me thankful for such kind brothers... so truly interested in my comfort and that of my wife and family.

Our little daughter Sarah Rebecca was born on the 24th. March 1855 and baptized by Mr. Bruce on 17th. June. My dear wife while pregnant of her almost entirely lost the sight of her right eye which still continues almost entirely useless to her. 'Rebecca' only was to have been the child's name but in the meantime before her baptism the sad intelligence reached us of the death of my wife's beloved sister Sarah Campbell which determined us in giving the child her name also.

9 April 1856

This day determined to make more frequent entries in my journal.. regret not having done so hitherto... want of system a great injury to soul body and estate. Try to amend in this particular hope in short time to have more quietness... but better not to wait for this but whatsoever my hands find to do do without delay. Preached in Hudson's of Papakura in the evening... a very tolerable attendance... notwithstanding the rain... the people there seem to value ordinances when brought to their houses... but with one or two exceptions are unwilling to put themselves to a little inconvenience to hear a preacher of the Gospel on the Sabbath. Remained overnight in Mr. Hatton's who is a good man and blessed with an excellent God fearing wife. They are childless. god knows what is best for them.

10 April 1856

We had some ladies to tea this evening... the Misses Goodfellow, Thomson, Baird etc. A great deal of music... Lizzie Macky principal performer. After all there is not much real enjoyment in it and conscience tells me it is a sad waste of time and opportunity of doing good... on such an evening my ministerial character scarcely appears at all... except while engaged in worship before separating. The friendship of Miss Goodfellow is a great source of comfort to me.. she is very wise, intelligent and Christian young woman.

12 April 1856

Rode today to Wairoa... got out of my way in the forest, and suffered a good deal of anxiety for an hour or two. How great a mercy did I consider it to have my way made plain. Oh that God may lead my soul in the right way and deliver me from the dense black forest of sin and transgression.

20 April 1856

This was Communion Sabbath in Auckland... I preached for Mr. Bruce on Friday. He was assisted by Mr. McNairn and I preached for Mr. McDonald.

11 May

This day preached in Papakura and baptised Rev. T. Norrie's first child... returned same evening... The Misses Goodfellow accompanied me.

22 June

Tamaki Sabbath... stayed overnight at Mr. Thomson's for first time... received much attention and kindness... had no reason to regret that the greater number of my people are such as have risen to comfortable circumstances from the humbler ranks.

17 July

This day came to our new house... a very wet day... carpenters still at work... feel very grateful to be here... May God command upon us his own effectual blessing.

10 October

Rev. Mr. McKinney and our teacher Mr. Joseph Wilson arrived in Auckland.

12 October

Assisted at a Communion in Auckland... Mr. McKinney preached in the evening... is a pleasing preacher and appears to be a pious, devoted Minister.

14 October

Presbytery of Auckland met for the first time today... Mr. Bruce preached... I was chosen Moderator... an honour I don't appreciate... all matters proceeded very harmoniously.

15 October

Presbytery met again today and concluded business. May Jesus Christ accept our services and make us instruments for good to his son.

16 October

Mr. & Mrs. McKinney came out here with me. Mr. McKinney preached at Hudson's for me... was well liked. Lizzie Macky rode over with....? I like our teacher, Mr. Wilson, very much. He is a worthy, modest young man and a painstaking teacher.

19 October

This day Mr. McKinney preached at Otahuhu for me... good attentive and I trust edified congregation... I preached afternoon at Howick.

16 November

Communion at Otahuhu... a good time... assisted by Messrs. Norrie and McKinney... trust the Saviour was one of our company in love and compassion.

30 November

This day commenced a course of lectures on the 'Ruling Eldership'... with a view to prepare the people for electing elders... I feel deeply the great importance of this matter.


The rest of the Journal has yet to be transcribed.